Sylvester Stallone, while playing Bridge in his Beverly Hills retirement village, recently thought to himself, "I really f'd up the Rocky series with 'Rocky 5' and 'Rocky Balboa'. I really do have talent...somewhere. If only there was a way I could redeem myself and show everyone that I'm not really an over-the-hill, roid-pumping botox bitch. I know! I'll make another Rambo! Nurse, where are my Depends? I am heading to the studio!"
Yes, Grandpa Sly is at it again. He is creating another unneccessary end to a film series that has been stretched tighter than the skin on his cheeks (which now can be found on his forehead). Sure to be the most violent Rambo yet, the preview starts a preemptive body count to the tune of, what else, but "Let the Bodies Hit the Floor". Sigh, Sly.
To help the Italian Stallion out a little bit, I thought we could have a contest to come up with the best alternate title to the movie. Kyurious Hype and I have been working for the past half hour to come up with a few, such as:
Rambo IV: Killin' before I Die
Rambo IV: Assisted Living, Assisted Dying
Rambo IV: Thats not a roman numeral 4, he's seroiusly on an IV
John Rambo: Badass with Botox
We need your help, America! (And yes, Canada, you can play along too.) Give us some other alternative names for this turd-flick. Slyvester needs our help, first witht the movie title, and then probably helping him off the toilet. Get to it!
Yes, Grandpa Sly is at it again. He is creating another unneccessary end to a film series that has been stretched tighter than the skin on his cheeks (which now can be found on his forehead). Sure to be the most violent Rambo yet, the preview starts a preemptive body count to the tune of, what else, but "Let the Bodies Hit the Floor". Sigh, Sly.
To help the Italian Stallion out a little bit, I thought we could have a contest to come up with the best alternate title to the movie. Kyurious Hype and I have been working for the past half hour to come up with a few, such as:
Rambo IV: Killin' before I Die
Rambo IV: Assisted Living, Assisted Dying
Rambo IV: Thats not a roman numeral 4, he's seroiusly on an IV
John Rambo: Badass with Botox
We need your help, America! (And yes, Canada, you can play along too.) Give us some other alternative names for this turd-flick. Slyvester needs our help, first witht the movie title, and then probably helping him off the toilet. Get to it!
2 comments:
I additionally like
Rambo Wars IV: An Old Hope
Rambo IV: My Arthritis Just Helps Me Strangle You Better
Rambo IV: I Spent My Social Security Check on Ammo
Rambo IV: If Incontinence Could Kill
Rambo IV: The Roids Are For My Osteoperosis
Rambo IV: Death Can Wait, Killin' Cannot
Rambo IV: I Tried To Die, But Ended Up Killing The Grim Reaper
Rambo IV: I Have a Walker, With A Big Gun On It
Rambo IV: If My Neck Was Any Fatter It'd Be My Shoulders
Rambo IV: Lift Me Outta' This Wheelchair, So I Can Kick Your Ass
Other Sequals may or may not include
Judge Dredd 2: Judge, Jury, Euthenizor
Cliffhanger 2: Over The Hill
Rocky 7: Rocky vs. Rhuematism
Tango And Cash Return: We're out of Cash, all we have is stale Tango
Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot 2: Please Shoot Me with Sodium Penethal
Ok, I think that's enough
Rambo IV: Geriatric Unit
Rambo IV: Fossil Fighter
Rambo IV: I See You (wait for it, you'll get it)
Rambo IV: All About Rambo Power (another...)
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