There is hair in my whiskey as I write this, but I don't really give a fuck. Nor do I give a fuck that I've played Third Eye Blind "Semi-Charmed Life" about ten times in the past hour, trying to bring back memories of my life before I went down the left hand path. And I certainly don't give a fuck anymore about how I spend my Friday evenings. That I rented Roadhouse this past Friday night is proof of that much (the bachelor life is just fine! I've got the carcuses of three roasted chickens from the local Safeway on my computer room floor and one more in the living room, next to my Glock!)What to say, what to say....Roadhouse is what I watched when I was supposed to be reading about the collocation problem, sorites arguments, and the recursive analysis of virtue. But who wants to do that? Patrick Swayze came onto my screen and a peace washed over me. It is his silent and sure manner. The manner that all good action heroes must have. They rebuff the most beautiful women in the name of principle, they fight and beat men twice their size, and they always have a cool and edgy zinger up their sleeves (metaphorically speaking: Dalton, Swayze's character, is shirtless for much of the film). And though not a universal feature of the action hero, Dalton follows the venerable tradition of having an old mentor. In his case, it is Wade Garrett, played by Sam Elliot (the narrator in The Big Lebowksi). That deep, canorous voice is still there like always, except this time, it emanates from a body that knows kung-fu.
The plot is, well, you need not concern yourself with the plot. I could have pleasured myself to select Facebook pictures, folded some loose laundry, and cleaned out my car at any point during the film without losing my sense of storyline. Needless to say, it is about a roadhouse in Kansas, and that means, in addition to the physical structure of the building, you get all those things that roadhouses have in the Hollywood world: tits, razor-tipped boots, martial arts showdowns, and blind musicians playing behind protective wire-screens.
Your life is probably going too well right now to bother with such a film. But if you start to hover above rock-bottom, and you've got the money for a rental, check out Roadhouse and get one step closer to becoming yours truly.
"The sky it was gold, it was rose,
I was taking sips of it through my nose,
And I wish I could get back there,
Some place back there..."
2 comments:
I consider Roadhouse one of those guilty pleasure movies that it's ok to like. Sure, there no major cinematic elements that make this film worthy of awards, but it's entertaining! Deep thinking is not a prerequisite to this movie, so you can just sit back and enjoy the violence, language and nudity! It's shameless, and timeless. It makes me wish I was a bouncer at a backwoods watering hole.
I love that the poster's in French. BRILLIANT.
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